Love them or hate them, https://www.askmen.com/dating/online-dating-sites/apps/">dating apps have transformed the way we date — and for some, have made it far easier to find love.
According to a https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2023/02/02/key-findings-about-online-dating-in-the-u-s/" target="_blank">2023 Pew Research report, though, a whopping 64% of men are insecure about the lack of messages they receive on dating apps.
So, if you’re not getting as many right swipes as you’re hoping for, you’re definitely not alone. The good news? By avoiding certain mistakes in your dating app profiles, experts say you can rack up significantly more matches.
“Your dating app profile is the first impression you make,” says Laura Wasser, a relationship expert and chief of divorce evolution at https://divorce.com/" target="_blank">Divorce.com.
“In today's fast-paced digital world, it serves as a snapshot of who you are, and people will make quick judgments based on it,” she adds. “A well-thought-out profile can mean the difference between finding a meaningful connection and being left with a string of unfulfilling interactions.”
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Plus, “Investing time and effort into crafting an honest, engaging profile not only increases your chances of finding a compatible partner, but also sets the stage for a healthy, authentic relationship,” Wasser says.
So, as you work on crafting the perfect dating app profile, here are some common mistakes you’ll definitely want to avoid making.
1. Stretching the Truth
Sure, pretending to be an avid surfer, successful entrepreneur, or skilled chef may pique swipers’ interest at first. But exaggerating the truth or telling little white lies will only end up hurting you in the long run.
Instead of portraying yourself to fit the mold of what you think other people will like, https://www.instagram.com/a.single.guy/?hl=en" target="_blank">Lloyd Dixon, a https://www.getcoachedbylloyd.com/coaching49426043" target="_blank">dating coach for men, advises leading with your authentic self. That way, you’ll attract people you’re actually compatible with, and your dates won’t feel duped or downright manipulated when they discover the real you.
(And while we’re on the subject of inauthenticity, Wasser says it’s a bad idea to use overly edited or misleading photos — also known as ”https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/internet-dating-slang-terms.html">kittenfishing.”)
2. Expressing Excessive Negativity
You might think that excessive self-deprecation will come across as funny or humble, but Wasser says focusing on your flaws can actually be a major turn-off.
“A dating app profile should showcase your best qualities, not make you seem like a pessimist or someone with low self-esteem,” she tells AskMen.
Tino Dietrich, a certified life coach, dating expert, and founder of the https://dietrichinstitute.com/" target="_blank">Dietrich Institute, agrees.
“It's understandable to want to weed out people who don't align with your values or preferences, but being overly negative in your profile can come across as bitter or unapproachable,” he explains.
https://www.shanboodram.com/" target="_blank">Shan Boodram, sex and relationships expert at https://bumble.com/" target="_blank">Bumble, suggests highlighting all the traits you do value, rather than listing all the qualities you aren’t looking for in a partner.
“For example, saying something along the lines of ‘Swipe left if you’ve never seen The Office’ can be really off-putting and may lead to a missed opportunity,” she explains. “Instead, emphasize what you do want — like someone who can binge-watch The Office with you.”
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3. Sharing Too Much Information
It probably goes without saying that including very little info about yourself is a big no-no. But according to Dixon, it’s also possible to overshare.
“Women are selective about who they swipe right for and looking for reasons to say ‘no,’” he explains.
Instead of going on and on about all of your hobbies, interests, and desires in an attempt to attract matches, Dixon suggests briefly describing the kind of person you’re looking for.
“This comes off much more confident — and less like a resume,” he says.
4. Only Including Solo or Group Photos
It’s important to strike a balance when it comes to https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/the-best-dating-profile-pictures.html">dating app photos. Breakup and relationship coach https://www.emmifortin.com/" target="_blank">Emmi Fortin advises aiming for at least two photos showing you spending time with friends or family, as well as a couple of solo pics.
“Group photos can be great for showing that you have a social life, but if every photo on your profile is of you with a group of friends, it can be difficult for someone to figure out which person you are,” says Dietrich. “It can be frustrating for someone who is interested in you to have to do the detective work of trying to figure out who you are in every photo.”
But according to Fortin, uploading only photos where you’re by yourself is a big mistake, too.
“One detail that demonstrates an emotionally and mentally capable person is that they have other healthy and happy relationships,” she explains.
Pro tip: According to Boodram, people tend to get better results on dating apps when they lead with an unfiltered solo photo where they’re smiling, not wearing sunglasses, and their whole face is clearly visible.
5. Being Too Vague
“If your profile is full of cliches and generalities, it can be difficult for someone to get a sense of who you are and what you're looking for,” says Dietrich.
For example, instead of saying you like staying active, mention that you look forward to snowboarding every winter, or that you’re looking for someone to go on runs with when the weather warms up. Rather than saying you love to cook, feel free to boast that you make a killer lasagna.
As an added bonus, the more specific you can be about who you are, what you’re interested in, and what kind of partnership you’re looking for, the more material your potential matches will have to work with in igniting a conversation with you.
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6. Not Including a Call to Action
Breaking the ice on a dating app can be awkward. Unless there’s something specific that swipers can comment on in your photos or bio, they may not be sure how to strike up a convo.
That’s why Dixon strongly suggests adding a “call to action” at the end of your dating app profile. As the name suggests, this is basically a prompt intended to inspire someone to take action — in this case, to swipe right or make the first move in messaging you.
Here are some examples:
- “Swipe right if you want me to take you to the best tacos in town!”
- “Self-proclaimed travel junkie looking for my next adventure… hit me up if you want to join me!”
- “I’ve got a mile-long concert bucket list for this summer… swipe right if you’re down to help me check some off the list.”
- “Tap that heart button if you like cats, craft beers, and getting caught in the rain.”
7. Letting Your Profile Fall Out of Date
So, you’ve put together a flawless dating app profile and now your job is done, right? Not so fast — according to experts, you should continue to refine your profile over time to ensure it reflects your current passions, hobbies, and goals.
“I recommend reviewing and updating your profile at least once every three to four months or whenever you experience a significant life change,” says Wasser.
Fortin also advises swapping out your photos for more recent options whenever possible just to make sure you’re accurately representing yourself. As a general rule, Boodram says your photos should all have been taken within the last year or so.
“Keep it fresh by including a line about recent events, whether a serious statement about a topic that matters to you or a fun reference to a pop culture phenomenon,” adds Boodram. “It can help spark a conversation and give potential matches an insight into your thoughts and interests.”
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